


Shards

by Scriptor_Bellum



Category: Monstrata Fracture (Video Game)
Genre: Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fantasy, M/M, Monstratafracturecontest, Other, it'll hit you like a ton of bricks y'all good luck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 15:30:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18524368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scriptor_Bellum/pseuds/Scriptor_Bellum
Summary: When reality breaks around me, I can feel it. It’s something palpable in the air – like humidity bearing down on you before a summer thunderstorm.It feels like a sudden network of cracks spiderweb across the universe all at once, originating from me. My heart drops into my stomach and makes me feel nauseous. The strain of both worlds warping around me to accommodate my choice is almost unbearable. I should have seen it coming, that it would hurt, but it didn’t even occur to me.





	Shards

**Author's Note:**

> My second entry for the Monstrata Fracture fanworks contest! (And, I think, my better one.)
> 
> I'm VERY proud of it.
> 
> Enjoy!!

When reality breaks around me, I can feel it. It’s something palpable in the air – like humidity bearing down on you before a summer thunderstorm.

It feels like a sudden network of cracks spiderweb across the universe all at once, originating from me. My heart drops into my stomach and makes me feel nauseous. The strain of both worlds warping around me to accommodate my choice is almost unbearable. I should have seen it coming, that it would _hurt,_ but it didn’t even occur to me.

The human world bends to erase me from its existence. The monster world swallows that space into itself so that it has room for me here.

I don’t know how long the aftermath of my decision lasts. It could be minutes. It could be hours. It could be _weeks,_ for all I’m aware. Once the initial struggle is over, all that’s left is dull aching that has me convinced my entire body is a bruise, and a fuzzy sensation in my brain that leaves me unable to focus. It’s a wonder I haven’t blacked out.

… Have I?

When I’m able to move again (which at first feels like trying to swim through gelatin), I grab my phone and look at it. Everything is blurry for a minute. Once I can read, it gets blurry again, and I realize that’s because I’m crying.

My friends’ contacts are gone, because those people don’t exist in this world. My mother and father’s contacts are gone, because they don’t exist here either. I start to feel sick, and the only thought in my mind is to wonder if I made the right choice.

Then my eyes land on one of the few contacts I have left.

_Nikolai._

“– Nikolai!” I gasp. It feels like I’ve just remembered something vital to survival. Tears still in my eyes, I throw my phone down on the bed after checking the time.

It’s just after ten P.M. Things aren’t making much sense in my head; what clicks together is that he’s probably going to be in his room. This is something I need to tell him. He needs to know.

I stumble over myself, managing to make my way through the campus to where Nikolai’s room is. My hand hovers at the door for a moment as I weigh my options. Maybe interrupting his night like this is selfish. Maybe choosing to live in a world where I’ll never see my family or my human friends again, just because I fell in love, was selfish. Maybe this will only put pressure on Nikolai, pressure that he doesn’t need or deserve.

But it’s not something I can take back now that I’ve done it, and he has a right to know.

So instead of running away like a scared little kid and avoiding the situation, I knock three times and pray that he isn’t angry at me.

When he answers the door, he gives me a look that reminds me I probably look like a mess. “Ah, Sawyer… what’s this?” He recovers quickly though, just like him, and gives me a half-lidded smirk. “Oh, you came to see me after all. I was starting to get worried – I nearly made other plans.” Still smiling, he tilts his head inquisitively at me. “You didn’t start drinking without me, did you?”

“N – no. No, what…” I shake my head and run a hand through my hair. All he’s giving me are his usual quips. Though that last comment is probably about as close to concerned as he’ll let himself express. “I need to talk to you… I… I just made a choice, and I’m – I’m not sure if it was the right one, but… it’s… it’s because of you.”

He waves his talons at me. “Yes, you came to see me, because of me. Don’t worry, I can tell you that you _definitely_ have made the right choice. Come in, won’t you?”

God, he’s frustrating and beautiful and I want to just do what he says and forget about this. And I _can’t._ “That’s not it, Nikolai, it’s… I… it’s hard to explain.”

“Well, I’m listening.” It seems like he still doesn’t quite understand the gravitas of the situation. Who can blame him, though? He won’t know until I tell him. “I know I’ve got a good mind, but if you’re having trouble explaining it, perhaps just explain it like you would to… a child.” The way his mouth quirks up reads like a challenge. “Dumb it down for me.”

I give him a none too happy look, though he really is right. I take a deep breath and nod, pushing my hair back again. “It’s, like… you know when I told you… I’m technically half from this world and half from the human world, right? You remember that?”

“Mhm. And?”

“ _And,_ ” I sigh, “what I didn’t tell you was… that… eventually… I’d have to make a choice. About what world I lived in forever. Because the humans – my mother explained it like – like if I didn’t, it would tear everything apart. Reality, and me, and – and everything. So, if… if I chose to go stay in the human world, I’d be a human, and I’d be a part of that world, and I wouldn’t be able to interact with anything or anyone from this world. And if I chose this world, I’d be a… you know, a person from this world, and I wouldn’t be able to interact with anything or anyone from the human world.”

Just talking about it makes me want to cry again. Did I screw this up? Did I choose right? Am I really going to be happy here, never seeing my family or my other friends again? Did I make a decision that I’m only going to end up regretting and being _stuck_ with?

Nikolai bats his multicolored eyelashes at me, and the look on his face suggests that although he’s with me so far, I better get to my point soon. “Alright, I’m following. Have you made your choice yet, then? If you have, you obviously chose to stay here, which was your choice. If not, then I don’t quite understand your urgency.”

“Nikolai…” I reach for his talons, and although he doesn’t stop me, he looks about as bewildered as I’ve ever seen him. “Yeah, I chose to stay here. But it’s… it’s because…” It feels like I’m swallowing past a mouthful of glue. “… Because I’m in love with you. You’re – you’re just… I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Here.”

My fingers tighten around his talons, tears blurring my vision again, like he’s my last connection to any life at all. “I chose _you._ ”

Everything is silent for what seems to be an eternity. Time stands still. My heart has jumped up from my stomach into my throat, and it takes all my strength just to breathe. Why isn’t he saying anything?

There’s something unidentifiable in his eyes. I can’t read him, and I usually can’t, but this time, there’s not even a hint of what he’s thinking or feeling.

What’s worse, though, are the words he says when he finally does speak:

“You chose _wrong._ ”

The world shatters around me again.

This time, I don’t know if it’s going to fix itself on its own, or if I’m going to cut myself trying to pick up the pieces.

_Time to find out._


End file.
